dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
