So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
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