I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
