He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
