come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
