HIV tests are more positive than that guy
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
