That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
