ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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