So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
