there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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