Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
