just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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