Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
