I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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