i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
farters have to be the big spoon...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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