when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
