I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
They should really pass out barf bags in church
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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