Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
We are all done wearing pants today
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
