Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
