My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
