I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
