Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
