All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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