i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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