I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
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