I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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