saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
