2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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