I cockslap morals
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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