I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
