At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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