I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
