we have officially lost it.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Bring me that man meat
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
