My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
