my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Randomize
