God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
