Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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