ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
