if only i could text you this smell
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You're like the curious george of whores
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
