I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
