69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
