I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
