I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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