I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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