Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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