Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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