when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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