No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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