Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
