What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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